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"Trying to look good limits my life."

So says Steven Sagmeister.

I should be working on my lit review but I can procrastinate for another 15 minutes.

I got the “Things I have learned so in my life so far” as a gift from a good buddy.  It reminds me of a slicker design version of a nike poster I used to have back in highschool.  The poster was stuck on the back of my bedroom door: “There are no limits.” (+Just do it)  

At first I was reading through the booklets quickly but I’ve then decided to slow down and read the rest a day at a time and blog about the more interesting ones.  You know, let the message sink in and swirl in my head for a while.

The first one I picked up, which happens to be the title of today’s post was “Trying to look good limits my life.”

In particular, Sagmeister says, 

“I realize I possess the need to always seem like a nice person.  I also reconize this need is restrictive.

Closely related to my desire to look good is my fear of confrontation - I love to avoid conflict - as well as my fear of rejection.  Many doors simply close because I don’t want to find myself in a situation where somebody has a chance to say no to me.” 

I actually wish he wrote a bit more as I was more interested in his thought processes rather than the design outcome itself.

Working in the studio has made me realise how much I actually need to work outside.  I hadn’t realised how many of my ideas comes from being outdoors, whether being in some natural or built environment.  I would like to do a lot more art making outdoors but I am often worried about what other people will think or if I’ll be pestered by weirdos.  I need some kind of working-in-public training wheels or something.

Over this last month I’ve been trying to ‘debug’ my brain of faulty beliefs or ideas about how I think this world works.  One of my main demons is fear.  

The body can act instinctively to a real danger threatening the survival of the body causing the fight/flight response. I understand that part.  What I’m trying to understand is my own conscious fear.  The feeling of fear that I experience when I am not in physical danger.  Do I feel fear because I feel as though my survival may be partly dependent on a social network?  Am I afraid of being alone? 

I don’t think I’m afraid of rejection, but I think I’m afraid of opportunity.  Sounds illogical right?

Gorden Ramsey asked one of the managers at a failing NY restaurant, “Are you afraid of being busy?”

And if I was to answer to this question truthfully in my own situation, I would say apart of me is.  On one hand I welcome those doors of opportunity, another part fears it.  What is it that I fear? Open doors means more challenge, work, higher expectations.  I wonder if I’ll be able to rise to the occasion.  If I can do more than just ‘cope’.  So instead I do things half-heartedly so I won’t have to find out.  I feign ignorance.  I pretend I can’t see.

But all this crap operates in the mind.  The problems and fears about the future are ghosts and imaginations.  They may come true, they may not.  But how I feel is in response to what my mind conjours up.  Imagination can be a powerful tool to change the world and your perception of the world.  It can transform your everyday existence.

I can’t control the future but I can make my existence better now.  The mind can change.

Which leads me to end on another Sagmeister maxim:

“Thinking life will be better in the future is stupid.  I have to live now.”