5th
"Trying to look good limits my life."
So says Steven Sagmeister.
I should be working on my lit review but I can procrastinate for another 15 minutes.
I got the “Things I have learned so in my life so far” as a gift from a good buddy. It reminds me of a slicker design version of a nike poster I used to have back in highschool. The poster was stuck on the back of my bedroom door: “There are no limits.” (+Just do it)
At first I was reading through the booklets quickly but I’ve then decided to slow down and read the rest a day at a time and blog about the more interesting ones. You know, let the message sink in and swirl in my head for a while.
The first one I picked up, which happens to be the title of today’s post was “Trying to look good limits my life.”
In particular, Sagmeister says,
“I realize I possess the need to always seem like a nice person. I also reconize this need is restrictive.
Closely related to my desire to look good is my fear of confrontation - I love to avoid conflict - as well as my fear of rejection. Many doors simply close because I don’t want to find myself in a situation where somebody has a chance to say no to me.”
I actually wish he wrote a bit more as I was more interested in his thought processes rather than the design outcome itself.
Working in the studio has made me realise how much I actually need to work outside. I hadn’t realised how many of my ideas comes from being outdoors, whether being in some natural or built environment. I would like to do a lot more art making outdoors but I am often worried about what other people will think or if I’ll be pestered by weirdos. I need some kind of working-in-public training wheels or something.
Over this last month I’ve been trying to ‘debug’ my brain of faulty beliefs or ideas about how I think this world works. One of my main demons is fear.
The body can act instinctively to a real danger threatening the survival of the body causing the fight/flight response. I understand that part. What I’m trying to understand is my own conscious fear. The feeling of fear that I experience when I am not in physical danger. Do I feel fear because I feel as though my survival may be partly dependent on a social network? Am I afraid of being alone?
I don’t think I’m afraid of rejection, but I think I’m afraid of opportunity. Sounds illogical right?
Gorden Ramsey asked one of the managers at a failing NY restaurant, “Are you afraid of being busy?”
And if I was to answer to this question truthfully in my own situation, I would say apart of me is. On one hand I welcome those doors of opportunity, another part fears it. What is it that I fear? Open doors means more challenge, work, higher expectations. I wonder if I’ll be able to rise to the occasion. If I can do more than just ‘cope’. So instead I do things half-heartedly so I won’t have to find out. I feign ignorance. I pretend I can’t see.
But all this crap operates in the mind. The problems and fears about the future are ghosts and imaginations. They may come true, they may not. But how I feel is in response to what my mind conjours up. Imagination can be a powerful tool to change the world and your perception of the world. It can transform your everyday existence.
I can’t control the future but I can make my existence better now. The mind can change.
Which leads me to end on another Sagmeister maxim:
“Thinking life will be better in the future is stupid. I have to live now.”